Monday, September 19, 2011

Today’s topic: How To Say No!

School is back in session.
Phone calls are coming in asking you to do things. I got one the other day. And now this morning I have to "have a meeting" to talk about what I agreed to do. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to help out. It's just that when every free moment you have is allotted for, it's hard to squeeze one more thing in.  But squeeze I will.

It all goes back to the saying, "when you want something done, give it to a busy person."

But I also realized I myself need to reread an old post from my other blog  Here it is -

How to Say No!

The single best way to simplify your life and bring happiness into it is to learn one little word. And that word is NO.

No, I can’t bake 6 dozen cupcakes by this afternoon.
No I can’t drive carpool every day, both ways because you have a standing hair appointment.
No, I can’t host every holiday, every year.
Simple in thought. Really, really hard in execution.
Why?  Because as women, we have been brainwashed to be everything to everyone. Everyone but ourselves. Time to take back our time and spend it where we really want to. Like reading a book. One that’s not for book club. One that’s not on your to do list.
But you need to take back your time for another reason too. For your kids. What skill set are you teaching them by saying  yes to everything under the sun? Parents today are not teaching children how to say no. This is not a good thing. With the speed of life today, by the time our kids are adults they will have  more demands on their time then even we do now. And if no one taught them how to say no, what kind of grown up life will they have? A very, very, very busy one. But will it be happy?
As parents, it’s our job to teach our children how to say no by example. So start now.
Some simple questions to ask yourself before you commit to one more thing:
  • does the thought of doing it depress you?
  • is there someone else who can do this?
  • will this take time away from my family?
  • will it disrupt dinner together?
Basic questions, but ones that reveal  a lot.
  • If you don’t want to do it, you won’t do a good job. Let someone else shine instead.
  • If there is someone else who can do it better, let them. Give others a chance.
  • If it takes time away from your family, who is really benefiting here?
  • And, if it disrupts dinner, JUST SAY NO!  Studies show that dinner at home, all together at least once a week is what keeps your kids on track.  I think this is ridiculous. Every night of the week is best, but shoot for at least half. Come on people, when did scheduling activities during dinner hour become the norm? It’s just wrong on so many levels. Here’s the info: reasons for dinner together
A challenge – the next time someone asks you to do something, run it through the 4 questions above. If the answer to any of the questions is yes, JUST SAY NO.
Then relax and enjoy your new-found time. What do you have to lose?
I have to go do my meeting...... and then squeeze in a trip out to put up flyers.....and then teach 4 art classes......
be organized.....evelyn

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